Understand, Don’t Solve

26th March 2012

Where in life do 80% of problems only need to be understood and not solved? Not work, nor school, nor the military. And it is definitely not in plumbing. Give up? It is marriage!
Marriage is a unique place. It is a partnership where opposites attract, and then they attack. It’s a place where different personalities and styles converge.
This makes for a great team if you can highlight the strengths and understand the differences.
That’s right differences, not weaknesses.
The great challenge of marriages is “me thinking.”  Successful marriages don’t change each other.  Instead, they accept and look to understand each other.
How does this apply to problems in marriage?
Research shows that couples who can communicate to understand each other don’t even need to solve most of the problems created by their differences.
Instead the researchers recommend this practical tip: look respectfully at your spouse, ask them for their feelings and views, then validate them by explaining it back to them.

Seek to understand.

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